


A Snail's Pace

by phdmama



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M, Misunderstanding, Snails, Texting, University AU, meet cute, not snail kink though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-04
Updated: 2018-01-04
Packaged: 2019-02-28 08:04:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13267209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phdmama/pseuds/phdmama
Summary: A late night misunderstanding might just change Louis' life.





	A Snail's Pace

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Munchkinmom](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Munchkinmom/gifts).



> This is a work of fiction, meant only to entertain. Please don’t break the 4th wall or post anywhere else! 
> 
> As always, the words, as well as the errors, are mine. 
> 
> This is entirely the fault of my love, [munchkinmom77](https://munchkinmom77.tumblr.com/).

Louis shoves his laptop away from him with a groan.

“Fuck. This sucks.”

Niall rubs his eyes and yawns. It’s 2:00 in the morning and they’re locked in a study room in the library. It’s late into finals week and the only thing standing between Louis and his twenty-first birthday is this fucking paper.

“Bio?” Niall asks and Louis huffs out a sigh.

“Yes, Niall. I haven’t magically switched my major since 4:00 this afternoon.”

“Can you even do that?” Niall wonders, exhaustion clear in his voice. “I think I’d like to do that.”

Louis stares at him in confusion. “Niall. We’re seniors. We’re graduating. I’ve already been accepted to grad school. _You’ve_ already been accepted to grad school. You’re not changing your major. C’mon, you can get this done.”

Niall lays his head down on the table and his eyes close. “It’s fucking history of consciousness, Lou, and I don’t even know if I exist anymore.”

“Niall,” Louis says firmly, “You still exist. You have to still exist because I need you to proof this paper.”

Niall’s eyes fly open in alarm. “What? No way, Louis. I can’t proof bio. I don’t know anything about fucking slugs or whatever the fuck you’re writing about.”

“Mollusks,” Louis hisses for about the eighth time, wondering yet again why the hell he’d picked a class on invertebrates as an elective. “I told you, Niall. Mollusks. It’s a fucking _phylum._ Slugs are a… oh fuck it. Never mind.” He mutters rebelliously under his breath, _It’s a paper about snails, anyway. Not fucking slugs._

Niall rolls his eyes. “Whatever, Louis. I’m not reading your fucking 400 level bio paper. I won’t understand it anyway.” He pauses, and suddenly his eyes light up as he sits bolt upright and shouts, _“Harry!”_

Louis says patiently, “No, Niall, I’m Louis.”

“No,” Niall says happily, patting himself down for his phone before seeing it on the table in front of him and grabbing it, “You need Harry.”

“Harry?” Louis asks in confusion, “Who’s Harry? You’ve never mentioned a Harry before.”

“Harry’s my buddy from high school, he’s just over the river,” Niall pauses and Louis makes a face, because he knows what that means, serious nerd power there. “He’s a bio major too, and he’s really good at writing. Here, I’ll send you his number, you can text him and ask him to read your paper.”

Louis frowns. “Niall, I can’t just ask a guy I don’t know to proof a 15 page paper. Besides, is he in finals too?”

Niall shrugs. “He finished up yesterday, but he’s hanging out until Saturday, we’re driving home together. I invited him out Friday night anyway, you can buy him a drink. Just tell him you know me, he’ll get it.”

That, reflects Louis, is unsurprising. He himself has, over the years, been the recipient of more than one random “Hey, Niall told me to text you” messages from total strangers which have resulted in some very interesting situations. Niall leaves this sort of chaos in his wake, and you’re either down for it or you don’t last long with him.

His phone buzzes with the contact Niall has shared, and Louis pulls it up and eyes it doubtfully.

“You sure?”

Niall’s head is back down on the table and he appears to be almost asleep as he murmurs, “Just text him, Lou, he’ll sort you out.”

What the hell, Louis decides, he’ll send a text now, and maybe this kid can read over his paper tomorrow.

_Hi, Harry,_ he types quickly and starts as Niall sits up and cries out in terror, “I’m thinking! I’m thinking! I am! Don’t make me disappear.”

Louis gives a shriek and drops his phone as Niall stares around wild-eyed. “Fuck me, Niall, what the hell?”

“Jesus,” Niall whispers, “I must of dozed off. I dreamed I was having sandwiches with Descartes.”

Louis stares at him and then jumps as his phone buzzes.

He sees a text come in from an unknown number and it says _Hi?_

Another one comes through. _How are you?_

He frowns and swipes over to his messages and realizes that when Niall scared him, he’d accidentally sent the text without a follow up, and this Harry guy has already answered him.

_Hey, sorry,_ he texts quickly, _I’m a friend of Niall’s, he said you might be able to help me._

He’s getting ready to add more details when another text comes through.

_Niall!! I love Niall! What can I do for you? I’m Harry_

There’s a pause and then, _But you already know that! :-P_

Louis starts to wonder if Harry is drunk. He texts back, _Niall said you’re a bio major and might be willing to read over my final paper? It’s due Friday and I’d love another set of eyes on it before I send it in. He said I could buy you a drink Friday night, that you were coming out with us. I’m Louis, by the way._

There’s a pause and then, _Louis? Why haven’t we met yet?_

Louis frowns. _I don’t know. Where have you been all year?_

Harry quickly returns, _Paris in the fall actually, but I’ve been here all spring semester. You?_

Louis quirks an eyebrow — so this kid must be a junior to have spent the Fall abroad. _I’ve been here in Boston, drowning in bio. Mollusks uuuggggh_

And here’s where it starts to get interesting.

**Harry:** _What do you mean ugh? Mollusks are amazing. They’re beautiful_

Louis frowns more deeply. What?

**Louis:** _Uhhhhh… I don’t think I’d go quite that far_

**Harry:** _I mean - have you thought about snails??_

**Louis:** _I took a class in mollusks this semester. So yes. I’ve thought about snails._

**Harry:** _THEN YOU KNOW HOW COOL THEY ARE._

Louis feels like he’s lost control of this interaction, if he ever had it to begin with.

**Louis:** _Well, I mean. They’re not UNcool I guess_

**Harry:** _Okay Niall’s friend Louis. Sit the fuck down because I’m going to learn you a thing_

**Louis:** _About snails?_

**Harry:** _Yes. Are you ready? First of all. Snails are very interesting._

**Louis:** _Uh, Harry, are you drunk?_

**Harry:** _NO_   
_Well yes. But this is not beer goggles. Or schnapps goggles as the case may be_   
_Do you know how hard it is to say schnaps when you’ve been drinking it???_   
_Schnapps schnapps schnapps it’s losing all meaning_ _  
_             _Where was I?_

**Louis:** _Telling me how cool snails are._

**Harry:** _RIGHT. Yes. Okay. So, did you know that snails can move .5 to .7 inches per second??_

**Louis:** _That’s… not very fast._

**Harry:** _NO. They’re very slow. But they’re still wonderful. We can’t all be horseflies, Louis_

**Louis:** _Wait what?_

**Harry:** _Moving on. DID YOU KNOW that snails like to eat dinner together? AND that there’s a land snail that can weigh up to 2 lbs? In Africa. And some snails have lungs. And some have gills. AND SOME HAVE BOTH LOUIS._

**Louis:** _Okay._

Louis can’t help but be amused at the passion Harry is demonstrating for snails. He’s actually aware of all of these facts, given that he’s just written a 15 page paper on snails, but he’s enjoying the banter to be sure.

**Louis:**   _You just really seem to love snails._

**Harry:** _I DO. People could learn a lot from snails. DID YOU KNOW that lots of snails are hermaphroditic? BUT. The_ _Pomatiidae have separate sexes. They have love darts. They basically staple themselves to their mate to have sex._

**Louis:** _Ow. That seems like it would hurt._

**Harry:** _Louis, I have two words for you._

**Louis:** _And those are?_

**Harry:** _Natural. Lubricant._

Oh dear god. Louis is really starting to wonder if this Harry guy has… a kink. A snail kink. Does such a thing even exist? And then Louis thinks about the internet and realizes, yes, snail kink must exist. There’s a kink for everything, as far as he knows. Ah, humanity.

**Louis:** _Wow, Harry, you must really… love snails_

**Harry:** _I do, very much. They’re beautiful_.

**Louis:** _With their natural lubricant?_

**Harry:** _…_  
 _UH_  
 _Wait._

**Louis:** _I’m just teasing you_

And then a picture comes through. And, holy shit. Harry, at least Louis assumes it’s Harry, has short hair that covers his ears, tousled and a bit fluffy. He’s flushed, covering his mouth with his hand as he grins and Louis is pretty sure he spies some killer dimples behind those long fingers, and his eyes are sparkling. He looks tipsy and a bit embarrassed. He also appears not to be wearing a shirt.

He is, in a word, adorable.

Another text comes through.

**Harry:** _I think you may have gotten the wrong idea. Snails are incredible, it’s true. I like them but I don’t, like… LIKE like them._

**Louis:**   _I don’t judge another man’s kinks, Harold._

**Harry:** _Really? Oh that’s good._ _  
__I mean. I don’t really have too many. Unless you’re into that?_

Wait, what?

**Louis:** _Wait, what?_

**Harry:** _I AM SORRY I have a confession to make_

Fully intrigued now, Louis grins, and waits. There’s a long pause while those three dots appear and disappear and then finally, another text comes through.

**Harry:** _I actually do know who you are. Niall’s been trying to get us together for ages now. But either you’ve been busy or I’ve been in Paris. So it hasn’t happened. But he showed me your insta_

**Louis:** _Oh god_

He doesn’t use his account for much, but he did a modeling project for Zayn’s portrait photography class last Spring, which included some tasteful nudes, all of which are on his Insta.

**Louis:** _So, let me get this straight. You don’t have a snail kink. You think I’m cute. And you would be willing to edit my paper in exchange for dinner on Friday?_

**Harry:** _There’s nothing straight about it darling. And yes._

Louis glances over to where Niall is now sound asleep, with his head on his laptop, and when Louis glances at the screen, he sees Niall’s last sentence has devolved into a long string of ts. He pulls up his camera and then hunching forward in the way that highlights his collar bones, he takes a quick selfie and sends it to Harry.

**Harry:** _!!!_ _  
__Send me the link to your paper, I’ll read it in the morning._

**Louis:**   _Thank you, Harry.  And I mean it. Dinner on Friday. My treat._

**Harry:** _As a thank you?_

**Louis:** _As a date. Do you like French food? I’m thinking escargot._


End file.
